Sunday, 25 January 2015

How misogyny is ingrained into society

So I saw this on fb today, posted by a girl I know:

Am I the only person who's bothered by the sentiment this presents?! Okay, I get what it's saying, and in one sense it's correct. If you know someone's in a relationship you should not behave towards them with the intention of trying to attract them - you shouldn't try to encourage dishonesty within their relationship, and you should respect that they're in a relationship rather than trying to split them up or have one of them be unfaithful.

On the other hand, if you're in a relationship with someone, you should have that integrity to be honest and faithful within that relationship regardless of anyone trying to flirt with you. It is not just "the other woman"'s responsibility for cheating. If you can't stay faithful to the person you're dating or married to, then you shouldn't be dating or married. Your unfaithfulness is your fault, nobody else's.

My real issue with this, though, is that it assumes that it's a female who will be a "little tramp" as the poster calls it. Not only is there no assumption of responsibility on the part of the boyfriend, but it is automatically assumed that it will be a female who is stirring up trouble. It doesn't warn men not to flirt with women in relationships. Similarly, it assumes all parts of this relationship and trouble stirring are between heterosexuals. It doesn't warn women away from other women in relationships, or men away from other men in relationships. It's so sexist and degrading, and the worst thing is that despite so many people speaking out for women's rights and equality, this sort of degrading of women's character is a normal part of society - to the extent that women are the ones posting this crap, because they can't even see how sexist it is. They're not being deliberately sexist; they literally cannot see that that's what it is. It's like it's trying to tell us that if a man cheats with a woman, it's the woman's fault; but if a woman cheats with a man it's still going to be the woman's fault.

You know what this poster should really say?

There. Much better.

To anyone against feminism because they don't understand what it's about? This. This is what it's about. This is why I'm a feminist. If your man cheats, it's not because an evil woman lured him away. It's because he made a bad decision and did something wrong. And, to anyone who might call me a man hater, yes the same goes for if a woman cheats. It's the same whether in a straight or gay relationship. The person who cheats is the person who is responsible for their cheating.

Love love xx

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